Fearlessly BE Yourself
What would change in your life if you could fearlessly be you? I don’t mean fearlessly show up and do what you do every day, but fearlessly be the you that is authentic. The you that is what you really want. This is something that I have worked with many people on in their career, their life, and it’s also something that I have experienced. Leaning into fearlessly being yourself is uncomfortable. It can be really uncomfortable. For example, one of my clients has a professional career that, it’s when you spend a lot of years becoming educated. And while she has loved what she’s done, it’s really not her primary passion and she has dreams of creating this other business that is focused around something that she is just naturally gifted and talented at. But of course now she’s in this place of how do I extricate from my one business to build this other business, how do I support myself? And on the retreat in Sedona, we were actually able to get her some clarity around some next steps because we can just become so insular and locked in our thinking without realizing it. I mean, we’ve all had those moments, right? Where it was like, gosh, just slap me upside the head. Like, why didn’t I see this? It was right in front of me all the time.
[00:02:45] So one of the things that comes up is what will people think? And, it doesn’t come up directly as that. It comes up as: “Well I’m not sure what to do next”. Like there’s this fear around making the right step, making the steps in the right timing, not making a mistake because, oh my God, what if you walk away from this extremely successful career to pursue this other passion, and then it doesn’t work out. Well, by the end of the day she had some clarity around some options. She was no longer locked into this feeling of either or, it has to be this way or that way. She found a way to begin to do both and so that she could still benefit financially from her lucrative practice, but also explore what it would look like to follow her dreams, and she didn’t have to give up anything to do this.
[00:03:53] I’ve worked with other people who have held back on doing what they want to do so much because they’re afraid that their family will be fearful for them. Will be afraid for them. So they’ve held back on what they wanna do most in life. Fearlessly being yourself means that you fully accept yourself, you accept your passions, your dreams, your desires, and you know that you are worthy of being successful in your own right, living according to those ideals just because you are who you. And that really scares a lot of people. And it scares a lot of people because our entire lives people have given us feedback of how good we are, how smart we are, how talented we are, whether or not we are in the right or the wrong, through their personal perception of reality in the world. When we’re children, through our parents correcting us or praising us and rewarding us, we learn what is air fingers quote, “Good and acceptable behavior”. We learn that when we do certain things, we get our parents love and attention. When we don’t do those things, they may not be pleased with us. They still love us and care for us. They may not be pleased with us, but that can be perceived as not receiving that unconditional love and attention. We’ve done something that’s unacceptable. And those things become hardwired in our brain. Those responses, fortunately, they can be changed.
[00:05:45] So when I say hardwired, think of being able to rewrite a hard disc. They can be changed. But if you listen to the last episode of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs when we’re born into this world, we need to have a sense of safety and security and love and acceptance. That’s all that we want. A child, the only thing a child wants is to know their parent is proud of them. That’s love and acceptance. That’s how that is perceived. And when it’s something other than then it could be interpreted by a child as anything else. You know, mom, dad could be stressed, worried, not feeling well, and, normal, everyday things can be perceived as, Oh, maybe things aren’t so good today. You know. So to fearlessly being able to be you means recognizing those stories, having awareness around those stories, shedding those stories, letting them go, and when there is a belief underneath, then addressing that belief to get rid of it. To eliminate any belief that there’s any discrepancy, deficiency, or fault of any kind in you. Because here’s the reality. When we’re growing up and we’re going through life and in our relationships, what other people say and think and do in regards to us. They’re coming from their own stuff. Their response to us really doesn’t have a whole lot to do with us. It’s about their interpretations. Now, I mean, if someone’s being malicious and and doing something unfair, then certainly, but still their response would be a reflection of their own experience growing up.
[00:07:48] So if you want to fearlessly be yourself, if you want to step into this place where you trust yourself to make these bold moves, well, first of all, I’ve talked about self-trust before. I’m not gonna talk about it again, but that is a muscle that we built. So that’s something separate in and of itself. But to feel comfortable in your skin is you, means shedding all the stories, the stereotypes and the perceptions that negatively influence your self talk and then you can move forward. And in the words of one of my clients be unfuckwithable. You just are. You’ve hit all those needs. You have your personal sense of safety. You love and accept yourself. Your relationships are improving. You have that respect. You have that self-esteem, You have that confidence and that, my friends, is where the diamond is in life, right there.
Hope you enjoyed this episode. I’ll catch you next week. Bye.
Review last week’s episode Maslow’s Heirarchy and Your Satisfaction in Life here!
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